If you struggle with perfectionism, then you probably set out with the best of intentions when you have a task that needs doing. Your goal is to get the job done and to do it well.
Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to do your best. But when your aim shifts from wanting to do something well to wanting to do something “perfectly,” this can become a problem that spirals out of control.
When the pressure to be “perfect” becomes overwhelming, perfectionism can end up looking like a whole lot of procrastination.
So then, what can you do if you find yourself caught up in trying to make everything “perfect” and never actually accomplishing what you set out to do? Here are a few tips if perfectionism is getting in your way:
1. Break it Down
First, break larger tasks down into smaller, easier steps. For example, if you need to clean out your hall closet you might need to break the closet into sections (such as one shelf at a time), pull everything out, sort the items into categories, decide what you’re keeping and what you might want to donate or toss, then reorganize the items as you put them back in the closet.
Or if you need to write a research paper, you might need to find some sources, read through your source materials, write an outline, create a first draft, and then proofread your paper.
If any step feels too overwhelming, try to break this down into even smaller steps. Creating a checklist of each of these steps can help you feel more in control of the situation and give you a sense of satisfaction as you check each step off your list.
2. Timers
Second, remember that timers are your friend. Decide ahead of time how much time you want to dedicate to each step of your task, keeping in mind the importance of the task. For instance, you may want to dedicate 10 minutes to writing an informal email, but a few hours to writing a paper for school.
You can also give yourself a deadline for each step to keep yourself on track. If you find that you keep going over your timers it’s possible that you’re still spending too much time trying to make it “perfect.” Or you may have simply underestimated how much time it takes to complete that particular task. Re-evaluate and get a second opinion if necessary.
3. Take Breaks
Third, don’t forget to take breaks. Remember to take the time to sit down, eat lunch, and take bathroom breaks when you need them, rather than prioritizing the project over your needs.
Break up larger steps into small chunks of time and be sure to take at least a few minutes to stretch, drink some water, and maybe eat something or use the bathroom if necessary. After several rounds of working with small breaks, make sure to take a longer break and do something to relax (i.e. go for a walk, read a favorite book, call a friend, etc.).
Taking breaks may feel like a waste of time, but our brains are actually more productive when we take breaks, which means the task will get done faster in the long run.
4. Find a Buddy
Fourth, use the Buddy System. Having a friend or loved one who can help keep you accountable can be invaluable. Make sure to ask someone that you trust to be kind but firm and tell them exactly what you’re looking for (i.e. how often and when you would like them to check in and if you’re looking for feedback or just a friendly reminder of what your goal was).
5. “Done Is Beautiful.”
Fifth, at the end of the day, remember that “Done is beautiful,” meaning that finishing a task imperfectly is going to get you further in the end than never finishing at all.
Perfection is an attractive illusion, but really it’s just that: an illusion. You may have the best of intentions to do a task well and get it done in a timely manner, but if you get overwhelmed by trying to make it “perfect,” then you may never get started at all.
Try to give yourself permission to make some mistakes along the way and see what happens.
6. Reward Yourself!
And finally, don’t forget to give yourself a reward for a job well done. This can be as simple as acknowledging that you’re proud of what you’ve accomplished, but a movie night or some ice cream certainly doesn’t hurt!
Keep in mind that making mistakes means that you are learning and growing. Give yourself the space to be “bad” at something as you push yourself outside of your comfort zone. It can be easy to beat yourself up over making a mistake or getting stuck. Don’t forget that an important element in this process is to be kind to yourself!
If you’re wondering if perfectionism is something that’s getting in your way, check out this article about perfectionism to learn more about what perfectionism can look like.
As a reminder, this blog post is not intended as professional counseling or clinical advice. This list is meant to help you get started if perfectionism is getting in your way. However, I encourage you to consider seeking help in person if you need additional support.
-Kristel Roper, LMFT, LPCC
Kristel Roper is a licensed psychotherapist offering counseling services to individuals in the Sacramento area. She specializes in anxiety counseling and especially enjoys working with young adults as they navigate the challenges of college, career, and beyond. Learn more about Kristel Roper’s Counseling Services.