We’ve all been there: there’s a test coming up, or a work meeting, or even just Monday. (The Sunday Scaries are a very real thing.)
All the buildup can lead to a phenomenon called anticipatory anxiety. This refers to when we are anxious about a thing that has not yet happened, but that we know will happen (or at least we are expecting to happen) in the future.
Whatever The Thing you are not looking forward to is, here are a few strategies that could be helpful if you are experiencing anticipatory anxiety.
Table of Contents
1. Stay in the Moment
If your mind keeps wanting to worry about The Thing, give yourself permission to mentally set it aside and then refocus on what you were doing before. For anyone who has heard of mindfulness, this will be a familiar concept.
Sometimes it can be helpful to imagine your worry as a specific object (such as a rock, a ball, a toy, etc.). You can make it a random object or something related to what you are worried about.
The next step is to picture yourself placing that object into some sort of container that you can close (like a chest, a safe, or a box with a lid). Once the object is in the container and the container is closed up tight, imagine setting that container on a shelf in your mind and walking away.
If you weren’t doing any specific task when you started to worry, try to pick something either fun or productive that you can now put your focus on instead. Get some laundry done (there’s always plenty of that, right?), watch a favorite TV show, go for a walk, or call a friend.
This way, the anticipatory anxiety doesn’t get to take up your whole day (or week, or month…) and you still get to do the things that are important to you.
2. Prepare (But Not Too Much)
Give yourself some time to prepare for The Thing ahead of time. Study for the test, practice your lines for the play, rehearse the dance steps a few times, research answers for possible job interview questions, etc.
Spending time preparing and rehearsing can help you build your confidence and feel more in control of the situation (at least the parts that are within your control).
The trick is to know when to say enough is enough and to make sure that you still leave yourself time to rest and focus on other things in your life that are important, like your relationships and having fun.
Sometimes it can be helpful to choose a set amount of time that you want to spend preparing for The Thing ahead of time. You might only need 30 minutes or you might need few hours per week, all depending on what it is you are preparing for.
One example might look like picking out your outfit and packing your lunch on Sunday nights to help make your Monday mornings more relaxed and ease your Sunday Scaries.
The other tricky part is recognizing when there really isn’t anything that you can do to prepare. Maybe you’ve already done everything you can do, the situation is out of your control, or both.
3. Break Big Stuff Down into Smaller Steps
If The Thing feels like one big overwhelming thing, see if you can break it down into smaller, more manageable chunks.
Then break those down into even smaller steps. Now even smaller.
Then start with the smallest possible step and go from there.
For example, let’s say you’re worried about a 10-page paper that you have to write. Start with just reading the instructions. Then open Word. Then write your name and the date.
And just like that, you’ve started your 10-page paper.
4. Set Aside a Specific Time to Think about The Thing
This may sound counter intuitive. Usually, the last thing you want to do is think more about whatever it is that you are worried about.
The goal of this strategy is to give your brain a limit on when and how much it is allowed to spend your mental energy thinking about The Thing.
Here’s how it works. Say you spend all day worrying (and trying not to worry) about That Thing you have to do tomorrow.
Instead, give yourself a set time later in the day that you will think about That Thing. Say, 6pm. Then take 15-ish minutes at 6pm to think about The Thing.
You can also take this time to journal about, draw out, brainstorm around, or problem-solve the situation (if it’s something that can be solved).
If you decided to use the strategy earlier of putting your worry in a mental box on a mental shelf, this is the time that you would take the box down off the shelf, take your worry out of the box, and let yourself really get a good look at it.
In the meantime, every time your brain wants to think about The Thing, remind yourself that you’ve already scheduled a time to think about it, but right now you are busy doing something else.
5. Repetition
If it’s something that you can do more than once, often repeating The Thing as many times as you can will help it to feel less scary. For instance, if the thought of having to give a presentation keeps you up at night, sometimes the best way to overcome this anxiety is to give as many presentations as you can.
Often with time and repetition, The Thing will become less intimidating and your anticipatory anxiety will decrease as you build confidence in your ability to handle the situation.
6. Practice Acceptance
If you’ve already done everything that you can, or the situation is something you really can’t do anything about, sometimes one of the most powerful things you can do is give yourself permission to let it be.
And while you’re doing the hard work of practicing acceptance, give yourself permission to have whatever feelings you’re having about The Thing, without dwelling on it or letting it take all of your energy.
Uncertainty about a situation can be scary, but it can also be liberating to acknowledge that you are not in charge of the universe and you can only do so much.
Of course, this is easier said than done. But it does get easier with time and practice.
Coping with Anticipatory Anxiety Is Challenging
I hope that this article has been helpful for anyone who is struggling with the Sunday Scaries or any type of anticipatory anxiety. Let me know what strategies have been helpful for you in the comments.
As a reminder, this blog post is not intended as professional counseling or clinical advice. This article is meant to provide you with some helpful tips for coping with anticipatory anxiety. If you are struggling with your mental health, I encourage you to consider reaching out for additional support, professional or otherwise.
-Kristel Roper, LMFT, LPCC
Kristel Roper is a licensed psychotherapist offering therapy services to individuals in the Sacramento area. She specializes in therapy for anxiety and OCD and especially enjoys working with young adults as they navigate the challenges of college, career, and beyond. Learn more about Kristel Roper’s Therapy Services.
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