Is It Me or my OCD? 3 Questions to Find Out

As an OCD therapist, a common dilemma that many of my clients run into is trying to figure out when something is their OCD and when it’s not. 

While some compulsions or safety behaviors are more obvious, others may be more subtle, sneaky, or just downright confusing.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Is this me or my OCD?” read on if you’d like to learn 3 simple questions you can ask yourself find out.

When It Can Be Hard to Tell

First, let’s talk about when these questions can come in handy. 

While sometimes it’s pretty obvious that something is your OCD, there are lots of scenarios when it can be much harder to tell.  Here are just a few examples:

• When it’s something that you’ve been doing for a really long time
  • Ex.: you’ve been the checking the whole house before bed since the 4^th grade)
• When it’s something that is sometimes OCD and sometimes not
  • Ex: washing your hands
• When it’s something that most folks do, even if they don’t have OCD
  • Ex: researching before making a decision
• When your OCD symptoms tend to jump around from theme to theme
  • Ex: last week you weren’t sure if your partner was the wrong person for you.  Now you’re worried that you might have run that bike rider over on your way home from work and your partner’s loud chewing feels like no big deal
• When your OCD symptoms have been particularly rampant
• When you’re already tired, stressed, overwhelmed, etc.

If any of these scenarios sound familiar, these questions may come in handy.

3 Things to Ask yourself

Question 1: WTF?

When you’re wondering, “Is this me or my OCD?”, the first question to ask yourself is “WTF?”  What’s the function?

In other words, how is this behavior serving you?  What are you trying to accomplish? 

Are you trying to get rid of an icky feeling (anxiety, disgust, misplaced guilt, etc.)?  Are you trying to prevent a worry thought from coming true?  Are you trying to reach a feeling of “just rightness”?

If the answer to any of these questions is “Yes!” then there is a good chance that this is your OCD.

Question 2: Is There Urgency?

The second question to ask yourself is, does this situation feel like an emergency, even though some small (or not so small) part of you knows it’s not?  Is there a sense of urgency that doesn’t quite fit the situation?  Did this same situation not feel like an emergency last week, and now it does, even though nothing has really changed?

If you’re not sure, see if you can wait 5 minutes…or 10 minutes…or 10 days.  If you’re starting to sweat just thinking about waiting 2 minutes to check if your stove is really off or to research how long Ebola can live on surfaces or to ask your partner if they love you…. then it’s probably OCD.

Question 3: Is There Rigidity?

The third question you can ask yourself if you’re not sure if this is your OCD is, do I feel like I have to do this thing EXACTLY right or EXACTLY this way.  Is there any wiggle room in how you accomplish this task?  If you were to change it up, would it bring up any anxiety/disgust/guilt/feeling of wrongness, etc.?

If there is absolutely no flexibility around the task, this is another strong signal that this could be your OCD.

OK, It’s my OCD… Now What?

Once you’ve identified something as being OCD-based, you have a choice.  You can decide to proceed as planned, or you can decide that you’re ready to do something different.

OCD thrives when we follow its rules and do things exactly how and when it wants them to be done.  It makes lots of false promises about keeping us and our loved ones safe and happy…as long as we do exactly as it tells us.

Unfortunately, as I’m sure you already know, OCD lies.  Don’t believe the OCD propaganda! 

There’s nothing OCD hates more than when you figure out that you don’t have to do things the way that it wants you to, even if you can just change it up in a small way or make it wait a few minutes.

Any change that you can make is a step in the right direction.  Progress not perfection!

And if you’re feeling overwhelmed about where to start or how to move forward, I encourage you to find a support group or a therapist who can support you in this journey.

And if you’re not quite ready for that, start with checking out the International OCD Foundation website to learn more about OCD and the resources that are out there.  You got this!

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As a reminder, this blog post is not intended as professional counseling or clinical advice. This article is meant to provide you with some helpful information about how to tell if something is your OCD or not.  If you are struggling with your mental health, I encourage you to consider reaching out for additional support, professional or otherwise.

– Kristel Roper, LMFT, LPCC

Kristel Roper is a licensed psychotherapist offering counseling services to individuals in the Sacramento area.  She specializes in therapy for anxiety and OCD and especially enjoys working women, children, and parents of anxious kiddos.  If you have a question for Kristel or are interested in therapy for yourself or your loved one, please feel free to reach out.

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash